The Devil
The Devil (15)
This card lacks images associated with empowerment. Perhaps the experience of feeling powerless is represented in the loosely fit chains around the figures’ necks.
But the card begs the question “Am I really powerless?” Although, at times I may feel this way, it is not true. It is possible to free myself from the chains of the old stories associated with what it means to have power.
Lately, I have been thinking about my resistance to my own power.
I am currently enrolled in a certification program to become a facilitator of Trauma Centered Trauma Informed Yoga (TCTSY). One of the guiding principles of this program is that “no intervention that takes power away from the survivor can possibly foster her recovery…”(Herman, 1992, p. 133). As a trainee, I have been asked to examine the ways in which I use my power. This examination has helped me notice how often I associate power with punishment. Because of this association, I often resist using my power, fearful that it will turn me into a punishing authority figure or activate the punishing figure in the other.
This card invites me to acknowledge my resistance. At times, I feel uncomfortable saying “no” or claiming a boundary needed to uphold a shared understanding with another. Physically, I notice a shift in my body in the form of sensations running through my forearms. My heart rate usually quickens, and I feel anger. The anger is deeply connected to my fear of becoming the punishing figure. In these moments, I am challenged. This fear often turns into denying what I need and giving my power away in order to remain, in my mind, “good and benevolent.”
In essence, I am doing to myself what I have been taught not to do to others——I am taking away my own power in these moments. This cannot possibly be in the service of my own growth and development. The Devil’s right hand displays the astrological glyph of Saturn, the planet of boundaries, limits, and authority. With this, the Devil invites me to examine what resides in my shadow. It appears my relationship to my own power has not been fully examined. This card sparks a curiosity and a need to clarify what it means to hold boundaries, set limits, and embrace my own authority.
